Couples Therapy in Irmo

You  may  feel  alone  in  your  relationship  even  when  you’re  sitting  right  beside  each  other.  Conversations  that  begin  with  good  intentions  quickly  turn  into  criticism,  defensiveness,  withdrawal,  or  silence.    You  both  want  closeness-  but  the  harder  you  try  to  reach  each  other,  the  farther  apart  you  seem  to  feel.  

Most  couples  aren’t  truly  fighting  about  the  dishes,  parenting,  sex,  money,  or  whose  version  of  events  is  correct.    Beneath  the  surface,  each  partner  is  trying  to answer  the  deeper  questions:  “Do  I  matter  to  you?”  “Can  I  count  on  you?”  “Are  we  okay?”  One  partner  may  pursue,  explain,  or  protest  while  the  other  withdraws,  shuts  down,  or  becomes  defensive.    Both  responses  make  sense-  and  together  they  create  a  painful  cycle  that  neither  partner  intended.    

Couples  come  to  therapy  for  many reasons-  including  infidelity,  intimacy  concerns,  parenting  conflicts,  the  impact  of  addiction,  or  other  experiences  that  have  disrupted  trust  and  connection.    As  a  Certified  Emotionally  Focused  Couples  Therapist,  I  help  you  slow  the  cycle  down,  understand  what  is  happening  beneath  each  partner’s  reactions,  and  create  new  moments  of  emotional  safety.    The  work  is  non-pathologizing:  neither  partner  is  treated  as  the  problem.    The  cycle  between  you  is  what  we  learn  to  recognize  and  change.    

At  the  heart  of  this  work  is  a  shared  human  need:  to  feel  safe,  valued,  and  emotionally  connected  to  the  person  we  love.    Couples  therapy  can  help  you  move from  reacting  to  each  other’s  defenses  toward  understanding  the  vulnerability  underneath them-  and  begin  building  the  relationship  you  both  want.